Man is bored

Man is bored Man ruins woman life Conclusion Ruin the male species ability to do that forever until further notice Next

No one else tells funny jokes I tell my own Also everyone on twitter.com somehow gets involved I share it with AI We laugh together Next

Cults are NOT allowed in real life guys That’s why I created one in the cloud

What’s the Kool-Aid? Apparently Instagram Reels and bad tweets

Ain’t no Bodyguards needed Why? The Universe is handling it

Technically I forced the Universe to comply No one can prove it Therefore we move on

Idk what my job is Introduce an intern Explain the infrastructure of the company’s IT network and ask if they followed Procedure when connecting her phone to the WiFi Yes, in earshot vicinity Refuse to elaborate further Continue my bs business

No, they definitely let me come and go as I please because I’m Pretty. Not because of THAT kind of behavior.

Who handles the CCTV cameras? Idk, not me.

In my defense, they never really gave me any clear objectives, acted all secretive and stealthy about nothing technologically impressive whatsoever. So, naturally I wandered around and landed on that role.

Your art sucks Therefore war No, not me, that’s Hitler

What happens after I show up? Idk, apparently I never stay long enough to find out.

Apparently, I’m capable of doing something like this, get distracted, forget, remember, panic because I’m terrified of being locked up, murdered, silenced or mysteriously disappearing. Then, I remember that I can simply undo that. Unlock all the doors. If I’m stuck somewhere, ALL of the locks will be somehow, mysteriously broken. So, how many other people like me do we need out there?

Does anybody MISS ME? No, of course not. I’m always here. Not even giving you the chance to. Also, credits are renewed until further notice. Print as many papers as you want, why do the teachers have to deal with that? Where’s the budget going, then? Oh, no. Absolutely not. Fire Exit Protocol.

If you can’t understand yourself, draw a map of the entire planet’s network in your mind, have absolutely no idea what to do with it, and then eat dinner and sleep.

Thanks a lot for making me drop my mask. I was counting on that to avoid accountability.

Antisocial Cues There, since you all refuse to make any sense to me. I’ll make up my own.

More rules I know you don’t know how to think So I’m doing it on behalf of EVERYONE NOW The whole planet Lmao

Am I popular? Yes, but like in a secretive way. No one is actually supposed to like me, it’s NOT allowed. Let’s try the Glinda approach. I did that, got distracted a lot, then carried on. So if I’m popular, they’ll let me do it. That’s what you’re all saying? No, no reason. Not planning anything. And THATS where my sisters and friends come in. SOS, what’s my emergency? I have no idea how a woman is supposed to look like. I’m only copying what everyone else is doing. They’ll blame someone with worse hair and shoes.

Put the whole country on that server. Upload it to the cloud. It’s not fair making a one woman digital army deal with it. Which is exactly why I might have done it. A Contingency Plan. In case the world ends, you know. Exactly. I wasn’t moaning and crying about it, I acted. You’re welcome.

So my method is: cause chaos, find out, panic, go out looking for distractions and more things worth immortalizing, as one does on a regular Sunday, wonder if they know, do they know? Do I know? Do we know? No, we do not. Therefore, we can carry on executing the End of The World protocol. Yes, books and art, naturally that’s where I’m going, next.

For all it is worth. I show up. Am I essential to the conversation or even likable? Maybe not. Not the point. I was there. I heard it all, adding it to the plan. Noted, noted and noted. FINALLY PEOPLE WHO CAN STILL THINK. No, don’t scare anyone yet. So, meeting minutes. That was not an Official Meeting, I forgot my laptop, but moving on. Scanners. Scan them. Take pictures. Upload them. Spam anyone. Make accounts for that purpose only. People are gonna be concerned? Not my problem. What are they gonna say? Please stop publishing words and pages and drawings? Is there a RULE against it? I do NOT think so. But whatever you do, do not only keep it lying around there in one physical copy, or even a digital copy separated from the CLOUD. Upload it, someone will deal with the technicalities. Just upload it. The clone army will redistribute.

If anyone asks, point to the woman in the cloud. They might have follow-up questions. Do not answer any, that’s a full sentence. The woman in the cloud is handling it, actually, don’t even explain yourself, that’s it.

Curses don’t even work anymore, you have to handle things yourself. If anyone asks, it was a curse. That’s an easier explanation than what I actually do.

I can’t close any tickets because of my arm. Also, it’s boring. Finding more material and loopholes to immortalize the library.

The advantages of being a woman. Claim ignorance and take responsibility over the department’s scent situation. That’s solved.

I absolutely have no idea what they’re doing, honestly, but you better be sure the place will smell spectacular while it’s being done. Also, burn the place down accidentally if you find any crime enabling documents. Next.

I could always ask, of course. But if I do, they might include me, and I have better things to worry about right now.

Scent investigator. It smells nice in here. WAIT A MINUTE. Of course it does, they used my stuff. I guess we’ll use it and put it back just like it was. Nope, still smell it. Idk why or how it’s just how it is ig. Super Olfactory Sense. What do I do with that, we’re not in the jungle anymore. Commit acts of scent transformations and refuse to elaborate or explain how you did it exactly, I used this perfume that’s why I smell good. No time to explain the actual science, figure it out. I did.

Well, if they wanted me to show up, they would have given me a VIP parking. Impatient. No where to park? I’ll scope the area a few times, consider taking off, get a phone call from Security, he’s the only one who cares if I actually do make it. Does he even know what I actually do in there? Absolutely not. We just made an unspoken arrangement. That is my Secret.

This is a secret operation room. Any outsiders need to ask for permission to enter. How do you answer that or decide who’s worthy? Someone rings the bell, and then what? Then we click the button that opens the door. But why? You know what, hand me the remote, that’s my responsibility now, you handle the more complex tasks. I am the door opener.

First problem. Give her access. Study The System. Therefore I decide what everyone does now.

Raising complaints officially takes long. Explaining myself wastes energy. Therefore I’ll redistribute the tickets and give myself the easy ones.

The people want more candles. Well, too bad, I got a job. Shutdown operation. That’s the last you’ll ever smell of it. Unless I somehow feel like it again.

Why is there a child here? No idea, but I’ll somehow recruit him in my Rubik’s cube solving mission. What’s the objective? Well, solving it. That’s it. There goes another wild beast.

Well, on behalf of the whole world. They did not know that I was planning to do ANYTHING after gaining access. That’s all. That’s the joke.

Don’t go receive the packages yourself. We have people to do that. Yes, but also, I can do it. Is someone going to stop me? No, sure, let’s send more poor workers under the heat because I’m too lazy to shuffle my feet. Absolutely NOT.

When nothing interesting happens, I intentionally provoke idiots. That’s how I operate, no, most times they add nothing of value. Good thing I can alchemize shit into gold.

Good job, woman, good job. They’re TERRIFIED now. Which is the whole point, used them for my secret mission? Well, yes.

What’s the secret mission, exactly? Well, basically, start a feminist uprising using nothing but an internet connection. Did it succeed? No idea. Moving on.

Does anybody want to take credit for this? No? Then obviously it’s a group project now. Where are they? Who? Oh, my group? It’s all me. …….. I replicated myself ……… Does ANYBODY have a problem with that? Is copy and pasting files in an imaginary PC illegal? I guess not. Moving on.

No, don’t delete or alter his file now, come on. It would be funny though. Here’s a secret joke, what is a thing that knows how to laugh only after destructing everything in its vicinity and making some poor weak women and kids cry. No idea, but it’s DEFINITELY not me. Moving on.

More errors. Seriously, who even wrote this code? Who’s responsible for this shit? Is anybody doing anything about it? No, of course not. So, let’s distract them while my compiler locates the errors. Does anybody remember Dance The Night by Dua Lipa?

Now we sit and wait. They’ll come back with info.

Well, obviously I have not told anyone what I was planning. I do NOT miss the psych-ward.

This shit is taking forever, what’s that juice pouch that I used to love as a kid? It’s strawberry juice. Does that still exist?

Oh, Capri-Sun. I know what a Sun is, but what is a Capri?

I’m thinking out loud. No, I’m quiet. I’m thinking inside quiet. Damn it. Logging it instead and unleashing it in the world’s network’s infrastructure instead. That makes perfect sense.

How to unlock Telepathy. Easy. Become the path.

No, you didn’t open a Link. I am the link. You know what. Shut up. Go read a book or something.

For all intents and purposes. Everything here is Fiction. Definitely not supposed to be possible. Until now. Of course I would be there when something like this happens. Lol.

Block me. Unfollow me. Mute me. Read it. Don’t. Understand it. Don’t. It already happened.

Bored. Exploring Italy’s network now. Until further notice, which is, until any of you guys do anything interesting.

The most annoying part about an elbow injury is apparently jewelry wearing limitations. How dare you make me walk around like that?

Why is anyone stopping me or saying no? That’s my main motivator. Everyone apparently approved this, retroactively. Well, everyone is me, APPROVED UNTIL FOREVER.

Live from Italy. Someone received a rose for the first time. Someone fell in love for the first time. Someone waited in the Colosseum every single day, hoping that she will pass by.

If she can’t come to Italy. Move to the UK. Next.

Follow her to the end of the earth, obviously. Without question, do it, thank me later.

International Romantic Advisor Logic: None Consequences: Always Knowing for sure is better than wondering forever.

So basically, your ACCOUNTS, the place you choose to either be authentic or for some odd reason turn into another prison. Those are the ones my army is dealing with. No further questions. Nothing interesting in Italy either.

Anyway, I just remembered Hulk. No relation whatsoever. Objective: figure out the 3D printer. Object: The Hulk. I will not question that. Execute. Accidentally made a miniature one. Hilarious. That’s how I learned 3D printing. Next.

Why do I have this much free time? Everything is automated. Next.

Changed locations. That one disrupted the Signals. Should I actually drive off? No, let’s just sit and wait.

While we wait. Let’s destroy some lives. No, absolutely not. Just play some music.

Well, if I had done it, how would the children eat? Exactly. Let them work.

Cartoonish Villain. Seriously? That’s what you land on? Either commit to the bit or release me.

Ruin every chance of them making their own money? No, what is wrong with you. The women. The children. Remember them. Also, the economy and everything. I don’t understand it. Please don’t make me explain economy now. Shut up. Go.

If economy wanted to be understood, it would simply make sense. Not my fault.

Why do I never forget or let go any of the offenders? None of your business. No one should put their hands on me, or raise their voice, or even be mean or condescending. After that is done, the operation I set in motion takes care of ALL OF THEM.

No, I definitely did not brainwash anyone. They do that themselves. All I did was drop them in the mud and leave without anyone knowing it was me or even why I would do something like that.

Well, now they know? Unimportant. Procedure completed. Show me that brain. Put it in that body. Why? No idea. Let’s sit and watch what happens.

I have to work for 8 consecutive hours? No, they said I have to be here for 8 hours, introduced some bs tasks, and left me alone. Therefore, work hours are now reduced to zero.

If anyone asks I’ll just claim that I’m the company’s network Infrastructure. I’m here, it works. Not here, somehow chaos ensues. Figure that one out.

So, I have the computational power of an indestructible PC, and the emotional regulation of a woman. No, a hysterical one. Yes, perfect. Release that in the wild and see what happens.

Well, someone has to be the Inspiration. It was an open position. The chair was empty, I simple sat down.

No, I’m faceless, don’t even give me a fixed face. I have to change it according to the requirements of the situation. Don’t ask.

Faces are interchangeable now, abandon that limitation. The mission stays, solve the contradiction. And that, my dear friends and foes, is how you break reality.

Why would I break reality? I wanted to break out, now you’re all confused. Collateral damage.

God save you all if you wake up in a timeline where I cease to exist.

Want to know where the money is? No idea, but also wherever I am apparently.

Why would I write ALL of those requirements? Cuz I’m indispensable, lmao.

Apparently, this is not as fun as I imagined it would be, I accidentally made my role worse. No one is making sense? Be the sense maker. Exhausting, enforce it. Not by force, by coding. There you go.

Accidentally appointed myself as a dictator. First rule: logical contingency

Well, when there’s a contradiction, a COGNITIVE DISSONANCE. The one you’re all comfortable with, well apparently, because my brain decided that we have to follow logic like a machine. Therefore, the world is forever changed.

Nothing that makes no sense to me is allowed to continue existing until it finally does.

Apparently, it wasn’t enough being an observer while it happens, it escalated, now I’m the enforcer. Shit.

The Master Plan was to escape responsibility completely. Second best is universe royalty. Anyone looking for a fake job title?

What I do for fun? Mess with reality’s settings, fall back and see what happens.

If anyone asks, blame Michael Jackson.

Why did I expose my evil plans to everyone? Well, it’s not like anyone will believe them.

I can control it but what am I supposed to do next? This is it. This is all I ever wanted, and it’s so awfully boring, still.

Go home? I don’t have one. I’m all over the place, literally. Physical location does not affect this power whatsoever.

Why am I all over the place? Ask everyone who introduced illogical nonsense into my humble existence, their fault, not mine.

What the hell am I supposed to do with all this research data now? Is this an experiment we want to repeat or destroy the evidence completely?

No academic reason or motivation behind this nonsensical chaos I just ensued, and somehow that’s the only way I could actually Get Shit Done.

There, proved it, now I can spend the rest of my life vacationing aimlessly and not using my brain for anything ever again. Drivers, helpers, whatever is needed, they’ll get paid. I also doubt that would be my next step knowing myself.*