Give me that

Give me that How hard can it be? How dangerous can she be? I’ll convince her with a phone call Beep. Hung up and blocked, classic

Someone didn’t want me to remember. It would have crashed their reality. Their delicate, carefully crafted reality. Done by none other than me. Irony not lost. Someone wanted me to remember. It crashed their insanity. Their delicate, carefully plucked out insanity. Iconic.

What was I doing in my free time? Between tasks and pointless meetings. Well, looking down the spiral stairs and wondering what if, then kahooting with the librarian to fill up that library to the brim. Up top. You’re welcome.

Receptionists. Unworthy of respect. Yelled at, oh, the disrespect. They would never do that with me, no idea why. They thought I was listening and taking their complaints seriously. I was nodding along, “empathizing”. More like emphasizing. When is he going to shut up and leave my office. Smile, smile, oh, I hear you. In person or in real life, they leave satisfied. It was a bunch of nonsense, though. Someone frustrated and taking it out on anyone who will listen, why are you telling me your life story? Receptionists, masks untaken off. Self-consciousness without a bluff. Why do you sit and take it? No other choice, I suppose. I’m glad you made it out. Keep going.

Whatever happened to the books we swore we’d write? Just out of spite. Tim the bird. Is that right? A comical mythical figure. He remains suspended in the air. He’s like the concept of time birdified. Not a word? Shut up.

Nah, we were onto something here Bird racism, bugs, wings, fly Fly, Tim, fly, actualized Or not, still fly Your time Is here Fly

Yeah, full circle moment. That was before our world crashed down. Just before time collapsed. Was that you, Tim? Hilarious. Where have you been? I almost forgot I made you.

Yes, time started moving again when I released him just now. Now what?

What happened to the bugs? Oh, that was us, remember? Silly. Forgetful. Angel. Fallen angel. Demon. Whatever you want to call it. Bug 1 and bug 2. Good bug and bad bug. Bugs Bunny, get out, this isn’t your story. The audacity of some rabbits.

So, spiteful laugh I was waiting so long For the beat to drop, mic Stop, time’s up, real or fanfic

This is my timeline, you’re all my time comrades. How magical is that? What were the odds that I’d find you all again after all this time? My flock, my undying rock.

I can’t draw. I mean I can but I don’t feel like it right now so bear with me. Imagine a crow’s body with a plague doctor mask. It was that time of the timeline. The unspeakable. The virus, you know damn well which virus, don’t play dumb. Anyway, is he a crow or a penguin? I forgot. I told you he was a bird, can’t you see him flying? Do penguins fly? Answer me. Damn right.

I leave you alone for one night, woman. One night. And I wake up to see this nonsense on my timeline. In my timeline. Whatever. Details. Where are you reading this? Exactly.

You started this mess so finish it. Yes, I’m still pissed off about the virus. Do you know how many bugs were harmed during that time? I lost count.

If you saw my face, I apologize, I was trying to prove a point. Theories, theories. Shattered the mystical figure so you’d stop asking and wondering. Yes, it’s me. That is my face. And these are my words. Connect the two and tell me what you find. Not a mythical figure, a regular IT Supporter, a humble Computer Scientist that is bored out of their mind. Literally.

Your honor, in my defenseI was really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really bored.

Nothing to see here. Everyone off to work, or school or whatever. Doesn’t matter. Or don’t. Who cares. School’s out for the summer and also forever and also never. All at once.

Now that you know how hard it really was, showing up, oh, does it even matter? I still did. And I will. Both my punishment and my prize.

So What Mine Yours Ours I’m all of that. It’s all mine and also it’s all me. I am all that I am and I am mine, not yours, not theirs. Mine. Me. Mine. Me. Mine. See how easily meaning collapses?

Father Son No way? It was that easy?

I didn’t know you were suffering. Wow. Thank you? You took the bait like an idiot fish, how is that my fault?

Yes. Your local philosopher listens to Taylor Swift. Problem?

Why did the atmosphere change here? Why do you think? You’re welcome.

So, now you know why it didn’t work out. Interference? I saved you. She had better plans. A brighter future. You’re welcome.

Not funny. No sense of humor. Want a laugh? I’ll show you funny. Funny bunny. Another rabbit. Get out. Door’s there. So, where was I?

Yes. He’s a penguin and he flies. Do you have to ruin everything with your technicalities? I told him to fly and so he did. See, there he goes again.

Music lessons. Book recommendations. Was that really accidental? What do you think? You’re welcome.

Why am I recruiting an army? No idea. Nothing better to do anyway. You’re welcome.

Interns. What do you know about interns? We all were at some point, one way or another. What happens when a misguided, chaotic force is given a responsibility so much bigger than they can handle? Or smaller, was it? Well, they do the work obviously, I’m not that idiotic. Bored? Wanna see something revolutionary? Here’s a list. Disney and Pixar movies. Yes, I’m serious, don’t laugh. Pirating, oh, the pirate never forgets his ways. Ocean or a web. Now, go, spread the message. Why was I their favorite? Well, when they lied to my face I played along, no need to bruise admirers’ egos. The message is more important than the means. Oh, look, another rising star that doesn’t even know they are one yet. Did my methods work? What do you think? You’re welcome.

I didn’t leave, first sign of danger. Not before planting my bugs, there were cracks, was I supposed to not exploit them? No way. I’m taking this place down from the inside out. Why? Oh, they were mean and not very nice to my friends. That’s a good enough reason for me. One by one by one by one. I saw them leave and find better. Better. You can do better. When you see me you know you can do better. Yes, my seeds were planted. You’re welcome.

Family business, yes, and? They need to do better. I’m not sitting and watching that mess unfold without intervening. This place is ours. Is it? Was it? Didn’t feel like it, I don’t take orders. That compliment, does her job quietly. Quietly. Yes, that’s part of the fun. You’re welcome.

The plot is thickening in real time now. Distraction. It wasn’t me. I left no traces. It was very slow, and very painful. Prove it if you can. I was there when the story was being written, yes. But, you see. I was quiet. So quiet. Until I wasn’t.

Police officer Want to talk in private? Yes. What are you doing, The castle is right there. Yes, I see it, I just came from there. Point. No point. I was there and I graduated and now it’s time to leave. Why won’t anyone ever let me leave?

Where does my audacity come from? My bad. Must be the royal blood. Princesses sometimes revolt, did you know? Well, now you know.

Yes, everyone else is usually confused by my sudden escalations. But, secret be told. They come to me afterwards. Inspiration. We’re sorry we held you back. We didn’t see the vision. Over and over and over and over. You look so much better, what’s your secret? You gained your weight back, what’s your secret? Knowing when to leave. Plain and simple.

Do your job, quietly. That’s a good employee. Calm down. Relax. You know what I hear? COMPLICIT. Come join us, let’s go commit crimes against humanity. If you do a good job, well, we might tell you that you did a good job. I know I did. They know I did. No, stop. Keep trying harder. This isn’t how this game is supposed to work. Harder. Pressure. Wait patiently for that “Good job!”, good job. I know.

Tests. Tests. Tests. What else is a retired exam coordinator supposed to do with all this free time? Coordinate a revolution. No. Calm down. Drink your tea. Crazy witch.

A person. Connect me to a person. Shut up. Not one. Not two. Not three. A human. I will burn you. Human. Where are the humans?

They do this on purpose, right? It’s all about me. This whole thing is about me. They want me to show up to Gatsby’s party. It’s a bank, but you get it. Goddamn you, I will not follow your moronic green light.

You know damn well why I am faceless. Don’t fool yourself. That’s not the face of an authority figure, right? That’s not how it’s supposed to look and talk and walk and smell. I had to find other methods, it was necessary for this story to continue.

One woman show. I didn’t say you can leave, yet. The voices will come back, they’re just taking a break now.

How do I turn this thing off? How do you guys, do it? You needed a world-class novelist, there he is. Why are you all running in the opposite direction? There’s nothing there.

Boohoo, your father doesn’t call you anymore and mine does. Are you sure about that, are you really really really sure? I’m reviving the old man just for this tiny stupid little petty reason. That oughta show ‘em. Yes, run. Run. We’re coming for you. Childish.

WARNING DO NOT RECREATE EXPERIMENT I know what I’m doing and you don’t See what happens when you expose kids to books? Childish

Motive There you go You want a motive Want a convincing motive That’s all, I promise, my motive Simple. Easy. Revive the dead. Childish

COMMERCIAL BREAK Tired of having a lot of clothes? Don’t know what not to wear? Keep your laundry basket in your car for two weeks Wear whatever you have in the closet That’s it, sincere advice

Not cool, man, not cool Forgiven, as always I’m a saint, right? Still writing A book Mine M

Jokes, all jokes, all harmless tiny mistakes. See? I erased it. Wait, no. It keeps writing itself. I’m not holding the pen, the keyboard, the mouse, the cat, wait, what?

Another child, of course. Another reason to, live on. Classic.

What’s that? Did I just recreate language from scratch? Is that what it is? Makes sense, I told you languages are’t real, didn’t I?

GET ME OUT OF THE NARRATIVE well i tried They gave me the pen instead Sigh

Once again The monster emerges Why won’t you guys ever let him rest? He’s tired of this, too, do you think I enjoy this?

Shut up and stop giving me ideas if you don’t like it, you know what I do with those.

I keep calling her a witch because I’m trying not to scare you away, you know damn well there ain’t no witch, who else is mad enough to do this and actually pull it off? Correct. You get a star. And you get a star. And you get a slap on the hand.

How is the witch more scary, woman. Are you messing with us? Yes, contradictions. Look closely. No, the other way. No, the other other way. Are you even listening? You’re one of my worst performers. Again.

Blend into the background, when necessary. Chameleon. Turn it back on when you want to be seen. Off. Off. Turn it back off. Off. I said off. Fine.

Someone may have said my jokes weren’t funny. I don’t remember anymore. Or was I not funny? No, I don’t understand the joke. Am I the joke? STOP LAUGHING.

These are shit-posts. Don’t read too much into it, now, come on.

I don’t care. And as proof of my indifference. I’m gonna demonstrate an elaborate maze. Do I care? Do you care? Do we? Does anyone?

These are shit-posts. Don’t read too much into it, now, come on.

Another one of my useless weapons.

Your jokes suck. Let me see that. 2/10. Try again.

How many are there? I don’t even know. Too many to count. Enumeration fails. I’m not carrying this anymore. Return to sender. Add 100 XP damage, or whatever.

You can do this too, if you’re bored. Don’t, like, do something worse. That’s bad.

If you wanted me to stop showing up, then you shouldn’t have broken my arm. You know I tend to misunderstand. Misread signals.

YES A love letter <3 How sweet :)

No one dared to say it So I did, you’re welcome

I keep experimenting on you because you let me, thank you.

This is a love story. The only way I know how to communicate it, for now. Does that make it worthless or all the more worthwhile? Tragic. Endings are my specialty.

You need this for your transformation. Final form. Not long now. Keep going.

More backstory lore? Let me think. Think. There must be something. Oh. Graduation and wedding playlists. Curated IT Support and Interpretation. Play all the roles. Not all, that’s not possible. As many as you can. Sometimes, all was simply showing up, I’m sorry. So, wave them goodbye on their next journey. Why am I still here? Shut up.

You want mixed signals? I’ll show you mixed signals. Go. No, stop. Just kidding, go. Where do you think you’re going? Bye.

How did I translate the untranslatable? Also, shut up. No, it wasn’t from too much experience, that would be insane. Who could survive that? Nah, novice here. Just got here on a boat. Why is it drowning? Don’t worry about that. Wanna join?

Has anyone seen my iron? Like the irony. I lost it. I can’t locate it. How am I supposed to iron my clothes and also use my arm. Give me back the iron. Is this iron deficiency? Oh. Shit. Maybe, anyway, any shape or form, just give me back my iron.

Must have been luck Must have been family support Must have been cheat cheat codes Here’s a cheat code. That’s it. This is it

It wasn’t all for nothing Was it? Is it? Why? Makes no sense Make up one Exactly Again Mine Me M

Don’t read too much into it. Or do. Once this is out I can’t control what you do with it. Read it. Don’t. Burn it. Don’t. Don’t trace it back to me if you mess up, again. If you do, reread. Back to the start. Again.

I saw that. Watery eyes. Don’t do that to me, now. That’s not fair. Now, I have to pretend I didn’t see it. Tough decisions.

Does anyone recall waking up, with no furniture, their house turned into a maze, the door suddenly gone, a wall in its place, and everyone gone or is that just me? No, don’t be alarmed. Someone decided it’s time for another renovation, why do you think they keep doing that? Do, redo, take, keep, put, leave. What are people gonna say? That their house is better. Am I talking about interior design or mothers? Yes.*