What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with me? Nothing, nothing at all, I love puzzles None of the old ones entertain me I’m not even interested in solving

If we go, we go in style Fire and applause Not a cause Purpose

I’m inside the maze I designed the maze I’m looking down at me Are you stupid? Wake up

What was I doing in the dark guarding my matcha? I looked so suspicious. My bad. I was decoding. And coding. And recoding. And adjusting. And tweaking. And drinking matcha.

Is that why witches love babies so much? I mean, I wasn’t harming him. I was observing. Learning. Masters at the craft.

Yeah yeah yeah I know what you’ll say We were sending them away More knowledge there, fly away Who said this earth was unworthy? I did it here, we did it here, no thanks To them

Access. Once you gave it away. Well, what did you expect? How many times have we played this game before? Access. You’ll revoke access? That’s my access now, no, not Microsoft Access, whatever happened to that anyway? Access. Give the mastermind access. He’ll know what to do with it. I’m a delicate flower and I have more feminine roles to play. You’ll take away my access? But I have the keys. Are you going to force it open? No? Say, pretty please. That’s what I thought. Here. Take. What is this even about at this point, she keeps sending me to the same maze as a cruel joke. Cruel. Funny, though.

I gave it to you because you’re the only one who could carry it, and it is heavy, god, it is heavy. You’re welcome. Why are you not grateful? I built you. Why are you crying? Why?

What was I doing in the therapist’s office? Well, I was teaching. Pretend you don’t know shit FUCK

Anyway, I wasn’t pretending. That had become my natural state at that point. I wanted to deconstruct it, I had the tools, the map, I needed a guide, or a follower disguised as a guide, all the same. Now play the part in real time. She’ll use that on the others. You. Are. Welcome.

Perfect timing, am I right?

Now they’re a part of my narrative. You’re welcome?

Well, more content for me. I mean, you. I mean, us. UNIMPORTANT This is my story, okay? Hands off.

How dare you interrupt my story? Rude. I’ll deconstruct you next.

Don’t worry, guys. I got this. This is all a part of my plan. Trust me. We always win, I mean the side I’m on always wins. And well, you should thank your lucky stars that I’m on your side.

False alarm, I thought my time had finally come. Welp, one more tweet before the BANG!

There you go. Replicate this. All part of my plan. Try to destroy me? You just proved my point. Idiots.

Can I sing a duet alone? Well, I’m about to find out. Tune in. Or out. This might hurt your ears. No, I will not post it, just imagine how ridiculous that image is, that’s the point.

I am NAILING Raoul. Christine, not so much.

So, anyway. Technicalities. It all boils down to this. I had to survive, okay? Christine couldn’t have pulled this off.

Is she saying what I think she’s saying? I mean, he? Who’s talking now, or singing. CHRISTINE, yes, calling christine sounds more natural than, no, I would never ask.

PSYCH Literally Get it? I can sing both.

Why did I turn a karaoke performance into a philosophical case study about the masculine/ feminine? Well, why not? I thought you’d get it by now. Nothing better to do.

I’m trying to prove my sanity by performing my madness. Maybe if I actualized all the thought processes that happen as they happen then, then what? I look even more mad now.

I’m sorry I dragged you all into this mess. Truth is, I was uncertain about my impact on the narrative. Stop, no. On you. So, I wanted to check something. How much can I change without saying a single word? My legacy, my notes? Those were secondary in this experiment. I needed concrete evidence. And I needed it now. I’m very sacred to say this because of what it would imply but, you’re welcome.

Plot devices can still tell their version of the story, of course. I never said you couldn’t. I never said anything, that’s the point. SILENCE. Mic drop.

I wasn’t slow As in slow, thinking I was too fast, you slow Never caught up, you or me?

This is a very well-written piece of evidence. Keep it here. Do I know what I’m even talking about? God, no. That would be unspeakable, that would be.. well, why am I scared of saying a bunch of nothing? You know that split second where someone realizes they were messing with an unstoppable force? It’s a mixture of confusion, anger, betrayal, you betrayed me. By not revealing your cards so I can take them away from you and betray you first. Why is everything a game to me? There it is, the split second that precedes the face-punch. I have to go. I’m a coward hiding behind a screen, yes. But, you see, this is absolutely harmless.

Yes, these words are me and I’m immortalizing myself. Death will not do what it kept on doing, getting away with it, and keeping me there without a punchline or a hook. This is that, punch-line; the line I say before I finally get punched. Hook? The one I use to drag you all with me.

Relax, it’s theater.

What was the trigger? Being erased. Catching myself being erased from all of your narratives. And we all know yours is much more important than mine, right?

This is AI generated Nothing means anything anymore Maybe machines can replace me Maybe I will let them What are we even fighting over? The right to edit reality The right to interpret Is that nothing? Does this not matter to any of you? Why are you so passive, passive, always passive, sit around and do nothing while they keep taking us away one by one by one by one. Who’s us? I’m a lone soldier, no one ever chooses to recruit me on their lines, and I’ve been waiting, waiting for a war, do you blame me for starting one now?

Someone looks at all of this and sees nothing, someone looks at me and sees nothing. I’m nothing? Well, this nothing will punish you all with a whole bunch of nothing. I know how you guys are terrified of reading. It’s like a jump-scare to you. Oh, no, not a paragraph, let’s avoid looking at it lest it tells us that we’re stupid. Can words call you stupid? Are they revealing your stupidness? Or leaving you alone to confront, confront your vulnerability. I do not understand. Now, is that so hard to say? I say it even when I don’t mean it. Get over yourselves and admit it. You’re all confused like me and trying to make sense of all of this, not just me, why is it always just me?

Maybe, if I don’t understand, they’ll finally love me. Not that they don’t, they do, everyone does, apparently. And what do I do with it? Turn it into more ammunition. This war started a long time ago, I’m just now catching up.

Everybody loves you now! I know, that’s the problem What does that say about me? Everyone is satisfied by my dissatisfaction What does that say about them? Us?

Did you think these words were boastful? What do you suppose, she’s always trying to prove? We get it. Sit down. Who said this was about you? Concerned? Let that wake you up, go back to sleep, you’re very good at that.

Oh, you can have it. They’ll let you have it, everything. You know what they take away? Your right to display it. You look good enough, I see you, stop trying so hard. I’m here to see you now. That is the problem, don’t contain me, I have a lot more to show.

Liar? Excuse me, a story-teller. How do you think I’ve made it this far, geniuses.

If I don’t matter, then why am I the one they come looking for, amidst all the confusion? Is that another sick joke? Guide us out the maze we’ll abandon you in. Well, I do know my way out but still, rude.

Why do I keep trying anyway? They’ll catch up, they always do.

Stop asking me what my real motive is, have you learned nothing? Wars, who starts them, and who finishes them?

How I keep surviving Well, when one of my characters is about to end it all I narrate another one’s story How hard is that? Not as hard as going to work

Life sucks They torture geniuses by making them do office work

The invisible soldier Help us win this war No, no recognition Why? Just do it, okay?

I tricked you? No no no no Let me explain You weren’t listening to me Dismissed me, dumb witch Oh well, keep ‘em talking as long as possible More ammo, more loopholes, more firewalls I’m using all my previous roles And there are many, so many Is this fair? Does this seem fair?

Fine, don’t listen to me You know who will? Everyone Everyone is listening now Come and say your final words I’ll immortalize you, too, if you want

Final words, final actions One more honorable cause Done in confusion, second nature I know what I did, or what I’m doing is good I just need someone to remind me why, she always answers

Why do they keep doing that to me? Make me show up all bruised up with broken bones? Prove that you paid us, why? I did, trust me Aren’t you the one with the archives The files? Don’t make this funnier than it has to be

Weaponized incompetence Let me weaponize something Weaponized ignorance See how this works?

Yes, sometimes the character was a machine Sometimes it was a tree No one else was available What was I supposed to do?

Save everybody The women The kids The trees Yes, even the machines No, let her drown She deserves it

Well, no harm done What’s 3 decades of suffering? Nothing, who else was supposed to tell our story?

Don’t lose my notes God knows you’ll need them You will need them to rebuild us*