The men were doing something. Do I trust them with him?

The men were doing something. Do I trust them with him? They can handle it. I’ll go check from the tower-top. I don’t understand it. They’re doing something. Preparing him for his final slumber. Let it go, woman. They know what they’re doing. Do they? If they did, they wouldn’t have covered his face. Look at my aunt, now is that fair? She wants to see her little brother one last time. She didn’t know. That the last time was the last time. I didn’t know either.

Don’t go in the classes yourself. Teenage boys, big boys. They’ll eat you alive. Let me see. There’s literally no one left to guard the walls. The fort is basically an open-ended exoskeleton of a tent. I’m not supposed to do this. Whatever. Let’s try it. Mission accomplished. Did not get eaten alive. Spread terror and confusion instead. Now that I know, I’m never going back in there again. The little kids are the ones eating me alive, not the older ones.

I got the reviews after. Through the vine. The grapevine. The kids love you. That’s adorable. No, wait. Hold on. Which kids? I misunderstood. That’s inappropriate. Definitely not cute. Make them stop. The children were supposed to love me, not the titans.

I will not talk to him. That’s a school counselor. An expert. He knows all about special needs. What’s the problem? Inappropriate? Making stuff up. Unless, he wasn’t, which is a ton times more alarming. I heard about it. I still have no proof. That’s another one that started following me around for no reason. You know what? Gather the chocolates from my office, we’re doing a school tour. Give all the teachers, candy and a hug. How do I even make this shit up? No idea. I’ve been asked, are you changing careers? People of determination. Nope. We’re spreading joy. Here’s a chocolate.

I always made the first mistake. I literally don’t even realize that something is “wrong” with them. They’re just kids. How was I supposed to know? Did you know that I memorized the whole chapter and can recite it right now? No way. Let’s see that. Ladies and gentlemen, it looked like the kid just pressed a button on a record player. That’s how good it was. I move on. I carry on. I find out those dear friends of mine are actually “not normal”. I question my own judgement. Oh, that one knows everybody’s car, he went on a monologue explaining it to me. I did not ask.

The counselor in question left. Good riddance. He gave a long presentation on autism. Do I really have to attend that, I’m a professional, trust me. No way out. Fine. I’ll sit there and make silly art while he spreads misinformation. They listen to him, no questions asked. Are you guys all okay? Move on. Why did he leave? I don’t care. Even a tiny doubt that he was doing something inappropriate is enough for me to hit the eject button. These are human lives at stake. No room for errors. We took care of it.

Not me. He took his things and left. Classic. Don’t mess with me or my kids again. Bullies. They bully me. Well, you walk around with hair unwashed and a laptop bag. Of course they will. I saw it happen. Transfer him from A to B. Why me? I mean he can walk. Tell him it’s me and he’ll walk. But sure, let’s go through the motions. What happened on the way? I think we got bullied. I’m pretty sure we did. I didn’t understand it, so I said nothing. I felt the rage brewing inside him and said nothing, kept walking. Here we go, we made it to my safe haven. What’s up? Not the bird murdering campaign again. This is why they bully you. Ridiculous.

Here’s how it goes. I do something, I wear something. People witness that. People wonder: “Is that back in style? We missed the memo.” I have no idea if it was back in style or if I revived it. This keeps happening, tell me it has nothing to do with me. Creepy.

Going back to your old workplace is trippy. Everything is fine! Look how good we’re all doing. I see that. I also caught a number of equations that did not compute. Here comes the principal, a conversation. So polite now, was he flirting? God no. Don’t do that. The program is compiling and there, another error, a lot of errors. And they walk around like it’s completely normal. He has a type I think. Asian and “submissive”. I wish I can unsee it. It’s bright as day. Leave me out of it. No wonder he despised me. They’re employing a lot of women. Model level attractiveness. My god, look at her go. Focus. Everyone’s angry. It’s a boy’s school, there are men, we can’t have that walking around. Oh, right. My bad.

Another one. Go investigate. He’s not good enough. Who’s reviewing these applications? Give him a couple of weeks or months and there it is. Gone with the wind. Next. Oh. Let me see that. It’s behaving differently. I approve. I don’t know why but he can stay. A global day event. Time to use that as an excuse for more detective work. Keep talking. We’re just decorating the board, nothing weird. Carry on. That’s where you’re from? Makes sense. You can make some changes here. I was supposed to go home. Got distracted again. Good job everybody. Keep up the good work.

A meeting. The graduation ceremony committee. What the hell am I doing here? Unimportant. Here’s a playlist. I exported it as both audios and videos. Curated especially by me, the soundtrack shall be magnificent m. Get back down. Meeting. Right. There’s another person here. He’s giving me a compliment or a diss. Unsure. Mariam, you act exactly your age, not older, not younger. That’s an observation I don’t know what to do with. My normalcy is questionable. Maybe it’s not about me but the others. Someone was not acting their age, possibly everyone. It was bad enough that me doing it needed an intervention. I’ll take that as a compliment.

Other comments. Confusing comments. Listened to this song and thought of you. Why? It talks about a girl and you’re a girl. Sounds fair. Apparently, I am the woman archetype for a lot of people. Hurry up, think of a woman, any woman. Easy. Mariam. Was there no one else available? Fine. I’ll be The Woman.

This place is haunted. Where is everyone? Oh, the plague. I’ll walk around and find something to do anyway. A 360 tour of the whole school. The principal suggested it. It was not mandatory. I had other stuff to do. What is she doing in the basketball field in this heat? Stuff. Don’t worry about it. You know who’s gonna love this. The other IT guy. Let’s recruit him. Now we’re running around the premise like 2 insane investigative reporters, I did that. That’s the kind of stuff I pick up and run with. Done. Executed. No one cares. Let’s make it an interactive game now. Stop, no one’s gonna see this. I will. I am. Now add arrows. Literally no one is even going to know this is a thing. Unimportant. National day. Of course. That’s why the girls are all dressed up. Gather around, while I still have a camera. Perfect.

The policy. Now that I’m here with you in this office. This sacred space. Please don’t bring up your husbands around me. Mention the kids, your sisters, mothers. Anything else. Your interests. That’s it. Keep that chain of conversation going. If I hear one mention of a man I will, simply do nothing. I have one trigger, too much information, I have a vivid imagination. Please don’t mention that stuff around me, change the subject, change it. Where’s the button. Get me out of here. I miss my office.

Got you. I heard something funny. My elementary school teacher wanted to be a member of the PTA. Parent teacher association. Let her have it. What’s the issue? I was only translating. What does that son of a gun principal say? Mariam said no. Wonderful. Now the whole town is going to hear about it. It was not me. He was joking. I do not know how to translate his sense of humor. Great. I wonder if he didn’t even know who takes care of that stuff. Not me. The town’s villain. I’ll wear that crown with pride.

Nails. Appointment or not. Unimportant. Sometimes it’s not even about the nails. Therapy. Your husband did what? It’s supposed to go the other way around. Why am I interrogating them? We’re bored. Women get bored and talk. One time I saw one tearing up while doing my nails. I did not ask. I simply stopped going there. Nails.

Bad for business. Sad women and mad workers. If I see something wrong, I withdraw my money. Not giving them a chance to continue this kind of behavior. Capital. Money is capital. Pay them and they get more workers. The current ones are still crying. Fix that. We can continue once that is taken care of.

A conversation with the principal. Let’s do it. How did you get this job? Oh, basically, my mom got it for me. That was not the right answer. I don’t think before I speak. I got it because I tried very hard and I was competent. Too late now. He knows. Distraction. How did YOU get this job? Interesting. One of us is going back to their country. Too far. Well, I got the job somehow. Unimportant. We’re in this office together. Somehow. Challenge accepted.

Forgot to eat again. My body said nothing. Didn’t scream, didn’t whisper. How long has it been since I refilled? Brainpower and vibes. That’s what this machine runs on. Eat something. What? Anything. It’s not safe. Food is not safe? Yes, if the texture feels wrong, and the colors don’t match, you know what? Shut up. I’ll eat the same thing I eat everyday. Don’t judge. Not everyone can afford to be a Foodie.

One more incompetent system. Try me. Not plumbing, woman. We can’t do that. Where do the pipes go? Where’s the pipe map? Shut up. Stop. The water travels somehow apparently. I want to know how though. Where does it come from? How does it reach me? How do I use that knowledge for evil, I mean good, for good.

They’re starting to ask questions. Do you know her? She creeps me out. Wow. Okay. That was not the objective of this operation. At all. Women. Keep up the good job. I think it’s working. Next.

Sometimes I make mistakes. Let me see. That’s bad. Let’s pretend it was all a part of some big plan. Next.

Stop planning. Stop choosing the music beforehand. Go to the movies. Go in with zero context, zero prejudgment. It might go catastrophically wrong. It might not. Shuffle.

He’s a PSYCHOPATH. Send him away. Kick him out of your office. No. Why? I want to know how he keeps overriding teams’ security protocols. Physical proximity. Don’t worry about my laptop, it’s not a part of the network. Do the most outrageous stuff just to drop in the teacher’s chat-box, and ask an innocent question. Of course they’re terrified. Who does that? I would.

You’re looking for the IT department. There he goes again. Which method are you testing now? Give me that laptop. No. He’s not my problem anymore. Theirs. That’ll show them.

I was unhackable. That’s why he kept coming back, obviously. I hacked them all, the whole school. Except one. Naturally, that would lead to him spending a lot of time in my office, and accidentally finding something worse. A counterpart.

That raised a lot of questions. I know. Is this an IT people game that we don’t understand? We get it now. You’re friends with his mother. Nope. Barely know the woman, and she was busy manhandling the other campus anyway. When I saw her last time, lego competition, oh my son LOVES you. Oh no. He loves messing with me I’m sure. Ridiculous.

Get me his reports. We’re trying to see something. We’re trying to solve it. Sure, here you go. High IQ. Exceptional numbers. Above normal intelligence. They add up. What are you doing about it? I will not ask. Not my circus. Wait, it was kind of my circus. But I was not responsible for the monkeys.

Social cues. Happy Birthday To You. It’s not my birthday. It’s not his birthday. It’s nobody’s birthday. No one on this table is born on this date, oh. A prank. I ruined it. Classic.

Exceptional. I have a question. Why don’t we grow that type of people locally? Me? I’m an anomaly. Threat detected. People like us don’t usually make it that far. I’ve looked. That’s why I moved towns. Larger lake. A lot more fish here.

I think he knows enough now, release him. I know what it feels like, having that kind of brain and being forced into, well whatever this is. Death. Our brain chants at us. Death. Death. Death. They will never understand us. Death. Get me out of this school. Death. Get me out of that town. Death. Death. Death. I know where this goes. Naturally, straight to suicide attempts. Not one, attemptS. Ridiculous.

TAKE A PICTURE OF HIM. They turn around. Why? He’s not doing anything. It’s sunny, it’s hot and we’re looking for a way home. Fine, I’ll do it then. He really was doing nothing. Just existing, under the sun. Snap.

I have to look good, this isn’t optional. They’re counting on me to show up. That’s worse than being forgotten. Where’s the model? We need to take pictures and videos. She’s not here, typical. I told her about this. Did no one inform her? The group chat, oh, she’s not there. She’ll make an appearance this time. Trust.

The ornament. Where’s the other one? Two is better than one. Come on, give us a third and a fourth. We have people to impress here. What do you want them to say? That’s we’re ugly? Absolutely not. Crazy, unhinged and unusual. That’s fine. Ugly is where we don’t cross the line.

Small town. Not many places to go. The same beauty salon over and over again. The same network expanded to my beauty routine. The parents need to know what’s going on. The teachers need to scare the kids straight. And I, I want to make that possible behind the scenes, looking as good as possible.

It’s work. Wear whatever. Nah, man. Give me that one in all the colors. We have a statement to make. Next.

Don’t change it. My face. Leave that untouched. Anything else I can live with. Once you change my trademark, there’s no going back. It’s not accidental. Not because I can’t afford it. I can’t afford losing my face in that ocean of faces. How will I find me back?

My cousin. They messed up when they added that variable into the equation. What is she doing? No, don’t interfere. This is new. Interesting. They’re talking. Let them talk. Small fish in a big pond. Older? Not by much. Let her figure it out. There she goes.

Time’s up. You messed up. Not every conflict deserves playground logic. We don’t like her. Let’s exclude her. That’ll show her. I would have stayed. If not for all of that drama. I know where my loyalties stand. Time’s up.

Evil. Turn everyone against her too. Me? I play along. I shouldn’t have, but I did. Yes, you succeeded. You have made me choose you over family. Ridiculous.

Once the performance art is over. Let’s meet up in my aunt’s place. Share notes. Just as I predicted. I know where to park the car. Outside for all of them to see. Signals. Oh, shit. They’re all crazy and they’re all in one place. What could go wrong? A lot. Wink.

It was good. My acting. There’s not a chance left for errors here. Let her believe it too. Cruel. Imagine how I felt. Confused. Chaos ensues. Let is play out. Only intervene if necessary. That looks necessary. Girl, why’d you listen to him? I’m coming too. After hours entertainment. Making sure all is good. No one making any moves. I have no idea what the objective was. All I know is this, my objective: scare the shit out of him. She’s everywhere. Here too?

Nothing is just that. My car is not just a car. It’s a statement. Someone’s following me? Better make it worth their time. Idiots. We can play this game forever. On and on and on. Around the block. He fell for it. Back to the present tense. Next.

Mother tongue slipped. You speak ARABIC? Yes, why would I not? That’s why they were quiet. I should have kept that act going. I didn’t know. Missed my chance. Perfect.

Why did I write all of that down? Tear it all up. Here’s a simpler explanation for how I got away with everything: pretty.

Banter. The high-schoolers with a little bit of boldness. I’m working, give me the number I’ll hand you the password. You? A comment about my clothes. Irrelevant. Next.

No, that category didn’t hang around my office. At least, not for me. Their teacher, by my side. The IT guy who had the brilliant idea of teaching. You’re all the same age basically. I can’t have one questionable psycho around but you can have your army of men? Out, get my book, my laptop, anything I might need and ELOPE. Reception seems to need more hands on deck. Let’s hang around there. I don’t want to know. I know I’ll go back with zero chocolates in my desk and all of my cubes disassembled and dissected. Not really, just scrambled. Well, someone has to do it. Did they try to ask? Yes. Poker face. What do you want me to do? Yes, you can play with them. I tried to complain but the advice was: hide your chocolates. Why? They can have it. I don’t mind. I just don’t want an army of high-schoolers where I do my work.

Here’s a funny story. Something happened. I don’t know what exactly. One of them is in trouble. I asked. They said: he flipped his desk. Oh, why? Because he got the answer wrong. Makes sense.

Last period. Six graders. Extremely smart but extremely small female teacher. Chaos ensues. Fight. Fight. Fight. Should we intervene? Yes. Get them out of there. Evacuate the crime scene. Calm the teacher down. Get the offenders. Make them sit on opposite sides of the hallway. I’ll watch them. Counselor’s late. That might need stitches. What was the fight about? No idea.

Third grade hallway. Give me a computer room there. Perfect. No, they need upgrading. Doable. Done. Now, schedule. Done. Transfer under process. Something is wrong. Where’s the teacher? Oh, she’s pregnant. No time, hand her to another teacher. Stop and ask if she’s okay for one second. That’s enough. They’ll handle it. Go go go. We have an exam to finish.

I’ve been summoned again. What seems to be the issue? I can’t seem to connect to the internet. This was an across buildings voyage by the way. Let me see. You’re connected to your phone’s hotspot. There you go. Second graders, they do that to your brains.

What started as a cute girly pop job somehow turned into a military operation. How? No idea. Me. That’s how. The outfits were not accidental either. Part of the terror regime. Add some perfume in there too, or a lot. Depends, when you go to the middle-high-school area you need a lot. Acts a like a general, dresses like a barbie, and no one is allowed to ask her anything.

Sit in your office. Here’s a desk. Got everything you need? Now don’t cause any troubles, come on time, leave on time and receive the paycheck. Sounds simple enough. Unless, this place is broken, stop that, stop thinking. Too late. The hierarchy, follow that pyramid to the top, note it down. Locate. Infiltrate. Just watch a movie. Sit down. Waste time, and go home. No. BORING. We have things to do, people to take down, a legacy to protect. No one can say that we didn’t try. That I didn’t try. There’s a crack in their pyramid. Patch it up.

Hamilton. Stop playing that shit. The room where it happens. I was not there. Sometimes, I was, taking notes. Meeting minutes. Big mistake. Not for me, for them. It was so awfully boring. I saw men giving up their morals in real time. Really? Now it’s okay to not be segregated by sex? When it benefits them. Made me sick. Fix that. Not saying anything, one look and their behavior is fixed. Until the next meeting where I’m not in the room.

You. What are you? I understand them all, not you. Here’s a personality test, solve it. Help me understand. Let me flip that table for one second. You understand them all because you’re a manipulative piece of shit. And what am I? Your worst nightmare. Here’s the result, good luck making any sense of it.

Big man. You scared them all. Who scares you? Guess. His wife. I can’t make this shit up if I tried. Someone flipped the table on him. Someone tried to defend me, the delicate butterfly. His pride was shot down. Is she in trouble? No, I made sure of it. Now, what do we do about this situation? Everyone apologize to everyone. Patch up his ego hole. Leave the premises. Let it sit for the rest of his life. What on earth just happened? I did. I happened.

My tolerance is high. They yell, they’re loud. For me it’s a regular Monday. Someone else sees that and they’re terrified. You let them speak to you that way? No. I mean, yes. But I make them pay for it. I know that. They know that, to an extent. My office is not a popular spot for that type of men. Hanging around drinking coffee and looking for gossip chains. Men. Get your shit together. They can’t enter my office before constructing a whole new intellectually intimidating persona, so most times they’re like, better not. It’s only Monday.

That’s a familiar face. Is that me? Oh, my sister. Anyway, it’s totally normal to pass by a coffee shop, pause, make eye contact with your sibling, make a gesture that means: “What?”, what what? No idea. Just what? No need for extra verification. No call, no coming in to say hi. No text. Seen. Acknowledged. Carry on with the architecture. I will carry on with whatever this is. Noted. What?

Apparently, neither of us is the main character. There she goes having a narrative. My sister is allowed to do that. If I see a man doing it, however, I might intervene. Depends. On what? Me.

Ambiguity. I don’t have a last name. I change it depending on my motives. I have two parents. Fair game. Is this one fraternal or maternal? Who can aid me here? Mom? Dad? Anyway, you know my first name. Don’t be greedy. Don’t ask for the rest. Noted.

My last name is how I got away with it. Up until a point. Up until someone decided to EXPOSE me. I was having so much fun now, why ruin it? I was dropped here daze and confused like the rest of you. No map. No secret higher education. No private tuition. Just me and my big head. Where am I from? Here. Unrelated. Look here. Don’t look up my family tree. Great. I own the place. I mean, we do. I guess. Why was I doing that? The easy way is boring. Noted.

Something’s wrong. High school. Last year. Cheating. Disappointing. Aid? I know who. Not saying, but, come on. Don’t do that. I can do it because my tests are knowledge map driven. Gather them all, see where they stand in the curriculum. Giving them the answer defeats the purpose. KIDS. This is math. Get papers and pencils, come on. I will not count for you, you have fingers. Go, who’s next. Oh, this one’s crying. Investigate. Child, no one will whoop your ass for this. It’s an arbitrary number. The teacher was standing behind him all intimidating and mad. Sir, stop doing that. Go stand in the corner or something. Let me handle this. There we go. Not hard. Leave. Take them with you. Next.

They were scared. No wonder. That’s not normal. Here’s a new nepotism child. Let me see. Hand me that. Oh, this one’s bad. An impossible case. Who sent you here? Oh. Everything is fine. Don’t listen to them. Obviously, stop doing the weird stuff. That doesn’t help your case. Follow me. I can find something for you to do. There. Oh no. Don’t. You’re not one of the students. The teacher is confused, is she with you? Unfortunately, yes. She didn’t last long. Why? Guess. Men.

Hair done. Nails done. Clothes ready and perfumed. Outfit chosen. Accessories taken out. Let’s pray to God they don’t give me a mic this time. Enough is enough. Can’t I just sit there looking pretty? Apparently not. That’s unacceptable. Not allowed. Don’t give me that. Fine, a hundred men and for some reason, me. Why do I always end up in this position? No idea.

My sister takes TikTok reposts so seriously. Is this a new generation issue that I’m too old to understand? So literal. Why did you repost this? We don’t have a niece, yet. My god, let me live. Take some context lessons. Too complicated for six graders, I guess. MARIAM, they changed my classroom and I don’t know any of them. Oh, give me a break. Won’t take long until you organize another army that somehow ends up asking me for McDonald’s. Ridiculous.

My digital footprint is a mess. Embarrassing. Chaos. Why’s there a cat in the profile picture? No idea. Felt right at the time, I guess. Take it or leave it. Harder to reassemble and make sense of. That is the same person? This is the same person. Don’t ask.

This is elementary school all over again. Come here, here’s a paper, here’s a mic, good luck! Why? Wait, I didn’t agree to this. Anyone else? Please. If not, I’d have to call her. Who? Me, from elementary. She seems to be exceptionally good at that. Zero self consciousness. Well, except that one time they pushed me into a stage and the crowd was much larger than I was used to. I froze, and naturally, EMERGENCY. Look at mom right there and say your piece, don’t embarrass us. Did I end up talking? No idea. Blocked that memory out. I might have. I probably did. Not before confusing a whole audience in some higher college event. Mom, seriously? That was not cool.

Public property now. Too late, guys. Too late. My ambiguity plan went wrong. So wrong. We’re changing course. Now, you perform from me. Start.

Safe to assume that my aunt will be there when some nonsense like that happens. The orchestrator, you want an audience for your kids? Follow me. I have a plan. Also, let’s gather the family’s kids and drop them in unfamiliar territories. Activities, let’s do that. Is everyone entertained? Birthdays. Oh, the birthdays. You’d think my cousin was a monarch. Was it fun? Yes. What do you think? We had fun.

Harmless prank. Slide into the DMs, no, linkedIn profiles. Every year until we die. YOU’VE COMPLETED ANOTHER YEAR. Congratulations, remember me? Miss me? Hilarious. I can keep this going for a long time. Until I find something better to do. Ridiculous.

I need a bodyguard. I need a driver. They deadass let me roam around like this? It’s not for my protection. It’s for everybody else’s wellbeing. I walk into a room and what happens, no idea, something. I don’t know what, but it sure is not how it was before I entered it, so, bodyguard. Someone to divert attention away from me. Easy. Not doable. Might be. Unsure.

I called. You didn’t answer. Explain. I see that watch. It rings. You have no excuse. An interrogation? Yes. Fix your lesson plans, now. Get into her good side, no more substitution for me. Wrong. Unless, we start there. Pretend we fell for it, then we wait. Took the bait? Good. Now, call me from prison and ask for my help. I will say that I will see what I can do. I hang up. I go tell my sister about it. We laugh. We move on.

Escalation. Actions have consequences. Especially when those actions concern me. I’ve said too much, it looks like fiction, they won’t believe it. I didn’t do it. He did not compute. Out. Next.

Unimpressed. Your job title? Oh, that’s huge. The English Department. Surely, I don’t understand the difference between a head of department and whatever you are. I know what you are. Shortcut taker. Not on my watch. Do that somewhere else. Next.

Oh, forgot to mention. I am the puppeteer above the heads of departments, I control everything from here. Your best is not enough. Scary, serious guy. You talked to who? Oh, my cousin. You don’t know that he’s my cousin. I won’t ruin it for him, let him have his fantasy. Eject. Next.

He was not there for the backstory. They were not there for the lore. Therefore; safe to out our hands on her, safe to scar emotionally.

Royalty. No weddings. No baby shower nonsense. Of course I’ll show up. Consequences will follow. They know me, they ask for me by name. I am not coming to your brother’s wedding, but I’ll watch the video after. Interesting. Don’t leave me around people I don’t know. I get weird questions and always a compliment just before departure. They’re wondering who you are. Oh, no. Shut that down.

Money laundering for beginners. Make candles. Advertise them. Sell them. Now the whole town and family is involved. Money is jumping around. It’s not laundered, it’s legit. My candles were worth it.

Technically, this is a beach filler episode. Good luck. New season. Next.

Art teachers. PE teachers. Not very tech savvy. That’s why they pass by for printing services and questions. Don’t move. She’ll take forever doing that. Let her do it. This is weaponized incompetence. No, she literally has no time, look at her schedule. A trip to the PE department. First of all, why’d they put you in charge and why are you unhappy about it? More work? More work. This won’t take long. It would, for someone else but you’re lucky you got the Special IT Support Service. I had no idea this place existed. The gym I know about, that’s where the illegal stuff happens. Just kidding, for some reason they decided to Play basketball, all of the men. No classes? Probably one of those times, teachers but no students, what was I doing there? Working, in front of top level entertainment. They turned into children. Ridiculous.

It’s fine. I’m used to it. They’re rude, they yell, I deploy secret punishment protocol. We carry on. They suspect I did something, they have no proof. Therefore; behavior adjusted. That’s fine. That’s a game I know how to play. Add physical violence into the mixture, I don’t know what to do with that variable, man. This was brewing for a long time, the natural consequence of events. This is what I do. I didn’t do it. I was protecting them. They don’t need my protection. Therefore; Secret Punishment Protocol deployed. Wait, it’s not a secret if I just told everyone. Unimportant. Details.

Don’t ask why. Even I don’t know. In my mind I feel like Ryan Gosling. Makes sense. I am him. He is me. I understand the meme now. We’re all him. He did it. Hacked our collective subconsciousness.

Immovable object with no social program installed. We have an Event to attend. Perfect, just what I needed. Another place to be. I’ve been abandoned by my comrades, they went to meet the newborn when I wasn’t looking. Seriously? That’s the main reason I agreed to this. Now, I’m hanging about and around with zero direction. The kids, let’s go investigate. When did this happen? You were a toddler just the other day. And you? Identification, I mean parents? Makes sense. Go mingle with the adults, woman. Fine, here I go. No one knows who I am and why I’m here. My marital status has already been discussed, my age too. I am someone. Ask the event holder. There you go. Why would I just show up unannounced and uninvited? Of course it’s a family thing.

Well, now they know me. Show up once, be remembered forever. A curse and a blessing. Here’s a curse: being a female big boss that looks like a lost child. How do I even begin to explain that to anyone? I guess I won’t. Women? Safe space. Entertainment, I may be confused but I won’t be harmed. Men? The moment I see a hint of incompetence, why do I even care? I don’t know. Because it’s not fair. I have the wrong program and I figured it out. Get your shit together.

They’re handing out promotions. I’m not staying here for long. Investigate, objective? Understood. Look for male counterpart. Unavailable. Look for male. I guess we work with what we have. Now, make it look like it’s his idea. Be humble, this whole thing is definitely not about me. It’s not an attempt to micromanage me because the macro-management failed. It definitely is, and I know what to do about it. There, everyone happy now? No, no one was happy. I just ruined it for everyone and ran away. The rest of them followed me after. Except for the ones who can tolerate it. Next.

Let us do whatever we want with them locals, we are superior, we can control them. We can, wait, what’s she doing? Oh no. We did not account for that. Who hired her? The big boss. Why? No idea. Did they send her? There’s zero documentation. No trail to follow. Not even on the power structure map. And yet, she’s doing something. That’s it. Give her a promotion. She’ll take the bait. She didn’t. Well, what does she want? Puzzles and cubes. Can we fire her? Also no. Can she quit? Also no, the town will not allow it. We messed up.

Incentive: praise from the CEO. Oh, that’s why they were working so hard. I thought it was a vibe. Why do you care what she thinks. Let’s go tear down the vision board. No, too far. We worked hard for that. I don’t want her happy. Why? No idea. Incentive: pissing off the CEO. Phrase it like that and I might be interested. That was only the warm-up. She’ll die soon, woman. Let her be. No, why does she get the money? It’s mine. Ridiculous.

Step 1: locate local wardrobe Step 2: dress up Step 3: look like a misplaced tourist Step 4: I tried

Step 1: look good Step 2: find a parking Step 3: walk under the heat in high heels Step 4: look straight up, no eye contact Step 5: they’re scared Step 6: punch in Step 7: make it to my desk Step 8: look for my phone Step 9: get back to my car Step 10: why do I keep doing this?

I failed, a man talked to me. What did he say? Good morning. Why did I go through all of that then? Ridiculous.

Departments. Buildings. I had a personality for each one. So when those two try to make sense of me, do you know her? We both do. We both don’t. Each one had a different approach in regard to me. Women: she’s a sweetheart, don’t raise your voice at her, don’t you dare. Men: she’s the devil, why are you all protecting her? Ridiculous.

Let’s go home. My appearance has been requested, personally. Someone died. The horror. A tent full of strangers. I don’t know them, they know me. Apparently. You’re Mariam? Yes, why? No, we’re asking: are you THE Mariam. Oh, yes. MOM, what are they talking about? Is this work, family, the government? Slow down. It’s all three.

One job They gave me one job Here are the plastic spoons Distribute GOT IT spilled them all on the floor Classic

Event planning is not my strong suit. Hand it to someone else. Were you hiring locals to cater for you? Ridiculous. What is management going to eat? Nothing I hope. That way they’ll leave faster.

My bad They thought I was uncooperative I’m spoiled I don’t do that at home Tea and coffee? Who takes care of that? Someone NOT ME

My resources My laborers I’d have to put in an order Coffee and tea for tomorrow Who pays them? My mom Their time and labor is not free I can do this: make me a lunchbox Please and thank you I will be fed Anyone else? Not my problem Ridiculous

Someone has to be the first Sit with the managers? We’re shy No one is going to do it MAKE WAY Done What do I say when I get there? Nothing Absolutely nothing I see them They see me Pictures and videos taken Done Bye

Man, I love women Let’s check the loot Perfume and incense, divine smelling A bag charm, is that a falcon? Bag, what is this for? Make-up? Score I gave them my presence and a fingerprint on some board and I left with all of this Stomach full too History lesson too Can I go home now? I might

Why am I not disrupting this hierarchy? Guess, local management. I don’t have to, it’s already done.

I go about my day usually, until an outsider dares to order me around. Who are you again? Exactly. And who am I? Exactly. Your worst nightmare.

Oh, those are my ancestors, the english come, the english are kicked out, easy.

They’re dead. My grandfather. My uncle. I am still here. Continuing the narrative. Next.

Learn our language. Done. Now understand us. Done. Now listen to us. No. I’ll use your language against you. What were you thinking? Idiots.

Bottom of the pyramid Put me there Forget about me Come back after three years What on earth happened here? Guess, me, I happened I happened and then ran off Classic

Cousins Audacity Listen here I know, you know Keep things under cover No one’s gonna put you on top Figure it out, climb, or whatever I did

Introduction This is Mariam From IT, doesn’t talk Me: it’s an IT thing, next

Add a bit of confusion to their day. Who’s she and why does she look so comfortable sitting there quietly? She wants something. Nope. Up and left. Next.

Patience, people. Someone that just got out of a protective household will be confused. Especially if it was an operational hierarchal systematic household. She has everything, except a map. I could guide her, hold her hand, but how would she learn? Tough love. Watch her from a far and don’t interfere. She’s figuring it out. Next.

Events. Always making up some nonsense. Jeans day. Weird socks day. That’s just a regular day. Look. Oh, did I inspire this? Next.

My socks and my shoes. Infuriating. Mariam, why are there cats on your socks. Mariam, you look perfect but why do you cut off everything when you reach feet? Sandals? More importantly, platform sandals, why not heels? I want to look tall, but comfortable. Next.

I missed the memo, again. I’m scared to ask. Why is everyone wearing the same shoes? New uniform? No. Trend. Great, now if I ask for the brand I’ll look stupid. I will therefore not.

Thank you everybody. I told my colleagues I’m the boss for a month. Emirati Women’s Month. That’s me, boss. Big boss. Next.

The boss would like to leave. The boss does not ask for permission. The boss up and leaves. It works. I’ve been doing it forever. No bye, no tears to cry. Up and go. Bye.

Paid the beauty tax. Those heels are magnificent, but no more. Not unless necessary. Back to sandals and slippers and if anybody asks, it’s a new trend originated in South Africa. Which part? The southern part, haven’t you heard? Next.

The boss also comes whenever she wants. You’re LATE. The CEO is here. Wow, rude. Did no one tell her to wait for me? Next.

He was horrified. The hierarchy slave. You did what? The principal? I don’t worship her. I saw a button, I clicked it. Now everyone’s pissed off. My guy here in the IT department was laughing his ass off. Am I in trouble? Maybe. But she only lasted a year. Next.

The button was not a mistake. The button was a message. Something’s wrong. Not enough teachers. High absence rate. Do something. Next.

I told him not to do that. The wizard. Do NOT touch my system. He had a point. His system was, in every way, better than the official replacement. The problem was access, he has access, I have access, and we refuse to let things slip. She came for him. End of the year. No warning. Just go. Did I know? No. They wouldn’t dare ask me that. Delete his digital footprint. Absolutely not. Find someone else to press that button. Next.

System migration. I have access, as usual. You want it to do what? Guess. What his system does. You forgot something. I still have access. Idiots. Next.

She can have access. She’s an idiot. A beautiful fool. The heir to the throne. She can sit on the chair and play pretend that she has a big girl job. Give her all the access. She won’t know what to do with it. Idiots. Next.

Miscalculation. She’ll never leave. The town needs her. We can keep this going for years. Wrong. I’ll burn the place and you in it, then leave. Next.

Exam season. All hands on deck. Assessments. Grading. Revision. The whole party. Everyone gets a paper. This is interesting. I can see what they’re learning. Disastrous. Sometimes they come and check. I tried hard this time. No, I saw his heart drop in real time. Don’t even ask me to fabricate it, they know me well enough. Nope. Try again. Tough love. Next.

Why’s the curve doing that? You added this variable. What did you expect? Next.

I don’t want flashy results, I want truth. They kicked me out because they kept making things up. Stop making the students appear smarter than they are. They’ll go out into the world and then what? Civilization is over, done for, the engineers are bad at math. Next.

Let’s see what the other campus is doing. No reason, just comparing. Just as I suspected. Controlling the variables. I know about it, stop doing that. Also, why are you making the kids pay for your failures? Again. Take the test again. Again. That’s not fair. Bad for mental health. Protect the girls. Teach them and leave them alone. Let the results speak for themselves. No time? I don’t care. Next.

Uncounted for variable What is it doing on the table? Even I don’t know I see a chair, I sit The rest of them will follow The rest of them will grow some guts Unfortunately for me All I have is guts No plan, no second act I sat, now what? They’re talking It does not matter I filled the chair Traditional food Try this one Everyone comfortable? I think I may have made them uncomfortable No, no, no way Next

Guts and nothing else Join our family Why? I have one Join the table I don’t like that table I want to go home

Bad blood How to clear it Finish the job Baptize the offenders See who survives Go home Sit on that table

No time to think The event planner said SIT Now this could go two ways Someone simply sits down The group whispers and pushes and hides behind each other for a few minutes until someone yields Let’s skip that part now We will sit

I don’t like my cat Why does he do that? Sit on top of the fridge Vantage point, I get it But also, what is it? Looking for mice? Just because? I think it is I see a fridge I sit

Going home after the battle Where are the other soldiers? No reason, just checking For safety, do I need a gun, a knife Do I need a sun, a son, a wife Wait, no, that’s not possible I guess I can just show up

Everyone stops laughing When it’s my turn to be a stand-up comedian My jokes are funny guys Admit it, you’re scared to laugh

Guys, I look presentable for once. I have to capitalize on this. Maximum visibility.

The more I say The more I have to say The more I still have to say

If I have nothing to say I will say something about that Guys, I have nothing to say, see?

It’s in my blood Defiance Anybody would have done it My school, my town Why are they on top?

Networking This is fine Oh, it’s not EJECT

Sustenance Finally, we have energy Now, my dear body and mind What do we use it for? Being sad Why? This is why I starve you, next

Gather around everybody Someone said I have no life I’m hereby announcing this Oh, why? They thought they were the center of the universe I will not remove myself from the equation If they do, I will apparently die This isn’t even a real life situation Ridiculous, I can follow you everywhere Anyway, sometimes I do go looking for trouble. See above, I asked for that. I find the trouble, I analyze the trouble, I tell everyone about the trouble, then arrive at the conclusion that the only way I win here is by looking for trouble forever. Next.

I’m running out of places. There’s maybe a couple I can safely assume will always provide some type of trouble. I was sad before, now I’m sad with a mission. Destroy everything. Wipe the routers. Restart the servers. RESTART. This is my game now. You may continue. Next.

Hold on No, they don’t have feelings Shut up Carry on mission

I know they don’t They said they don’t No more verification needed Permission to destroy, granted

What breaks the camel’s back? Everything Everywhere All at once No trust left No hope left No second chances

Is that a signal? Batman’s gone I can’t read I can’t see I can’t intervene Let it burn Gotham had it coming

I do have feelings My first instinct is to disappear Shut up Be smaller But we override it The world needs us No thanks to some cartoon villains

We lived before them We’re living after them Correlation: zero We will continue living

Time to make an appearance Make some civilians day Week, month, life, existence But that would require me to go out So then I will go out Narratives changed Planes diverted Catastrophes inverted She came out again Told you this would happen

Done That was at least 10 narratives Now what? Coffee

I’m not joking I can see the moment it happens That’s why I try to look straight up There, I advertised the place now

They should pay me for this Rent taken care of Kick me out? Good luck surviving

Compare this place to one year ago I was here when it happened I saw it live in action There’s a before me And there’s an after me The second one is favored

Main character syndrome I know Pearls are now back in fashion You heard it from me first

Feel sad and unimportant Get out and take a walk See? The world just stopped For a second there, then moved on

This is stupid I’ll explain it plainly They stop what they’re doing Just as I pass by, for some reason

I can feel it Oh great She just went in Why is she back out? Act normal, do I look cool? One two three, GOOD MORNING Okay? Moving on

No one even knows what I do in there Some IT stuff, don’t worry about it Don’t talk to me, don’t look at me Okay, you can look, but don’t talk

Kids Walking barefoot They’re onto something But when I DO IT

True story, this happened High heels experiment failed Dragged the whole friend group Now: find me something comfortable There, wait, why are you barefoot already?

He’s jumping on the furniture Standing on the chairs Oh, he’s on the table I will keep you updated

Not much Going around in circles Like any sensible person would do Except, on top of the furniture and barefoot

Is that what we used to do? Whatever we want Wherever we want Sir, this is a respectable establishment Is it? Well, I’m here, so the probability is low

Cats Check Kids Check Me Apparently, check

What are you studying? The human condition What’s going on? Oh, new academic year What’s that gotta do with me?

You guys don’t mess around enough You’ll know when you did The only solution then is this: Leave the town and its villagers Looking back then I can safely say: check

It’s an event every time I go back Give me a break One family gathering is not that It’s just another step on the pyramid

What’s next? Don’t tell me, I want to be surprised. Hopefully a peaceful weekend. Pray I hope. Not another crown that I don’t know what to do with. Interesting, this just landed in my hands. Let’s tell everyone and refuse to explain. Next.

Be bored. Until it hurts. There: now what’s funny? Store front typos. That’s an activity. Go have fun. Next.

Let’s go out with normal people. Let’s sit down. Why are you shushing me and asking me not to turn around? I’ll turn around to see what I’m not supposed to turn around to see, note it down, then wonder if you’re someone I want to go out with ever again. Next.

Why would I go out to perform even more? I just left work, man. Let’s go perform in a coffee shop. Release me. Next.

Something must be wrong with me. You guys enjoy this? We’ve been performing for hours. Unless, you guys aren’t, which is terrifying. What do you mean this is your natural state. Move it, stop that, no. Oh, no. I’m never coming out with you guys again. That was creepy. Next.

Don’t traumatize me then traumatize me again for what traumatizing me in the first place turned me into. Now we’re all traumatized. Good job. Next.

Drag me out into the beach. Sit down, socialize. If we leave you alone you destroy yourself. Sit. Where is she? The OCEAN. What were you thinking? I wasn’t planning to jump, not consciously at least. That’s where we all go. When everything out here doesn’t make sense. Back to the ocean.

Who snitched? Someone was concerned. Not family, not friends. Hello, we’re calling to check on you. Is everything okay? Why do you care? The blood, the marks, the violence. They don’t. They keep pushing me back into it. Who was it? Thank you.

You quit your job because you wanted to go to the Book Fair? Stupid. No, I went to the Book Fair because I wanted to quit life altogether, but thanks for noticing and intervening. It kept going for another year or so. Thanks a lot. Everybody. The town is saved. The school is saved. Me? Somewhere looking for an answer in another library. Then being dragged into it again anyway. You don’t care? Fine, I’ll destruct the place. Then I’ll build it back up using my principles, my variables, my high standards. After I leave, see if you can live up to that. Next.

That’s a lot of words that could otherwise be communicated with a few profane words, but my principles said no. So here’s another paragraph you can drown in. Next.

It’s not enough. What’s enough? What my counterpart did to them. I knew he was looking out for me. I wasn’t there, coincidence? I don’t think so. Unspoken agreement. Shared knowledge. The place is broken. Well, expose how broken it really is. Don’t forget to account for the staff involved. Your favorite IT person? Not there. Deploy emergency protocol. Hilarious. Next.

Yes, I drove by to see them all gathered around under the heat. Stuck there. Why? No idea. With soundtrack too. He did it. The madman. He did it. Wait, no. That can’t be traced back to me. He’s smarter than that. My comrade. I wonder where that kid is. The Incident Maker. No, the Tech Terrorist. No, he’s just a kid. Stuck in a dysfunctional school and a small town. Just like me.

Can’t prove it. Messed with them. She did it. We don’t know how. But she did it. They were conspiring the whole time. We tell him no more IT office time, the school breaks down. That can’t not be related. Can it. It’s not. Except, it totally is. Hilarious. Next.

Big school. Multiple buildings. Many, many students and many teachers and admins and.. me. I wasn’t there. Convenient. I know that impulse. The one that made me press the button. What happens if I do this? Oops, I guess the authorities are now involved. That’s why I don’t. He did. No idea why. After that. Go out and socialize. Listen to the gossip. No way. I know what happened. No one knows that I know. Let’s keep it that way. Okay, enough time has passed. I may have been involved, indirectly. Hilarious. Next.

This isn’t fair. This is premium story-telling. I’m wasting it here. That’s exactly the type of thing I would end up doing, naturally. She did what? Checks out. That’s not what social media is for. I guess it is now. Next.

Acts of terrorism. It’s not, it’s a prank. A prank with a motive. Exposure. Now everyone can see the cracks. Not so formidable now. One kid, probably less than 5 minutes, took you down. In, send, out. Now we sit and watch.

Now, if those places of power employed us, deployed us, instead of reaching for the handcuffs, we’d have somewhere to redirect that energy. Unfortunately, that’s not an option, so we commit mini acts of terror instead. Then move on about our day unaffected. Unbothered. There he goes with the laptop. There she goes with the laptop. How are they doing that?

I can confess. No one will do anything. I did it. Go back and check the records. Not there. No communication. We see each other on campus. No calls, no texts, no emails. Just a couple of big brains bored out of their mind. One boring day away of thinking: what happens if I do this? Here we go again.

Relax. Calm down. Some people commit murder. Against me specifically, but also in general. Let us click on our buttons, it’s for everyone’s protection.

Connections. His mom. The other campus. The CEO. All connected. He knows what they’ve been doing. Wink.

That didn’t work. Still sad. Is there any button for that? Over.

I’ll click all the buttons. The ones that wake the beasts too. Just for fun. Nothing better to do. Over.

What happens if I press that one? Let’s find out. Oh no. He’s really angry. Let’s escalate that. Why? Nothing better to do. Over.

I’ll apologize when I see a flaw in my logic. Up until now, I’m clear. Over.

There aren’t any. Socially? I don’t have that library installed. Over.

Why did I move to the boys’ campus. Well, it was new. They gathered everyone, in a bus, like cattle, to the new campus. Sold. No deeper reason. They remembered to account for me on the first day of the new year. Oh, shit. We let her go? Come back. We have an office for you here. Keep it. I want the polished campus. Big mistake. More anecdotes on the introductory trip. The wizard. Why are you mad? The place is magnificent. Yes, yes. Where am I going to SMOKE? Jordanians and their nicotine. I don’t know. Pick up vaping. Solved. Over.

PE teacher complaints. Class load? Maximum. Age bracket? Minimum. Chaos. You’d think the parents would allow them to breathe. Hello, I have a problem. Yes? My son. What about him? He lost his socks. Beep. True story. Over.

There’s a button No one’s watching No, don’t you DARE I might have said that if I was there Fortunately, I wasn’t Therefore; button pressed Police interfered No weapons on campus He’s the weapon I’m the weapon They didn’t find anything Physical

Break time I don’t understand this place They dropped me here with no instructions Chocolate ice cream, playground That’s a perfect place to chill Except, KINDERGARTENERS What are you doing here? Can we have some? Nope, can’t risk any parents complaining A mysterious lady is handing out ice cream Bye bye, enjoy the playground Over Bad at being a woman Dragged into tailor shops Choose your outfit I literally do not care Ma’am, what’s wrong with your daughter? Oh, she doesn’t want to go to uni Don’t mind her, get me that one too Well, at least I looked good suffering

No one is that patient Anymore I’ll drive you there Until you learn how to drive Even then, I’ll go with you Go to class, I’ll wait here Done? Let’s go home

If you’re wondering how I always ended up sitting in front, always there for introductions Well, she doesn’t talk, but she sure is there His fault, how long until we get there? When does class start? I’ll take you before that No time for errors, you will be early Too early, dad, I was sitting there alone like a nerd Well, that paid off His smile dropped in real time I’ve said too much I revealed that I know someone was lying But also, that I didn’t do anything about it I forgot to account for the fact that I use that method with him too I caught the second his brain engine clicked She know? And she let me get away with it That’s scarier than if I just said: Liar

I can drive I’ll go by myself Let me go by myself You’re exhausting yourself How do I make him understand? I don’t, I use the fail proof method Doing it anyway and making up a lie Oh, I went with my cousin, I didn’t drive Of course they figured it out White lie, had to be done My siblings didn’t have to do that I make up a solution I get in “trouble” There, path cleared

Mariam, no, don’t But also, I’ll sit back and watch That’s it, she’s a free agent I was worrying about the wrong one

All I hear is: interesting Wonder why they said no That means my brain is going to say Mariam, yes Here we go again

Defeated Shut down operation My sister said: cringe Why are you listening to that? It’s to avoid having a fixed location I told you to log out but you didn’t Therefore I’m everywhere Everywhere my Spotify is logged in basically Dynamic location

Correction Not the operation is cringe Simply whatever I’m listening to Which makes this a lot worse I can do that but my choice of music is judged Middle schoolers, I’ll use Kpop next time Or whatever the kids are into

I patched up what they tore down At least I tried Go into a hospital Pick up an orphan Let’s go home Did you even think this through? The babysitting and the hangouts I was old enough to be the old one Dumb enough to not understand Stop hanging out with him Oh, why? I raised him No, don’t even go there Stop hinting at that, gross That’s another monster I deployed The conditions were not my own All I did was babysit Narrative changed

I have a good one New principal I have been selected to rule you First: let’s test everyone’s english I shut that operation down before he could even finish his thought Nope, how about you learn our language Who do they think they are?

It has come to my attention I could have said no Just because I can locate everyone Doesn’t mean I can give that for free The phone calls Imagine trying to live while your phone keeps ringing every time a teacher or a student is misplaced Sigh, let me see, they’re where I put them That’s not the issue, why can’t no one else read the map? So, I fixed that Ridiculous

I missed a memo Someone calls She’s young, she can’t handle the boys That makes sense, but there’s no one else I forgot to account for that I didn’t realize it was a problem When I was warned about the boys I was confused, they’re another part of my operation, they obey the general I am also young, the same age We both look like kids Exceptionally smart I feel bad, I don’t think she had the warlord library installed So, instead of complaining to me Big guy, empathetic heroic man Figure it out, they’re your boys Do something For once, can someone just do something Without informing me first Ridiculous *$